miriam beth

today i did not want to homeschool the four (five, if you count Nathan and he most certainly does) faces that were not-so-brightly shining in front of me this morning. not-so-brightly shining because they did not want to be homeschooled by me, either. AND THAT'S OKAY.

'but we have too!' i thought, looking over the schedules and the lists and the ideas and the links and calendars and the emails i have collected, 'look at all this stuff!'

but guess what, internet. we did not have to.

so we painted instead, which turned out to be an enormous ego boost for me because everyone thought i did remarkably well. this is not a humble brag. internet, i literally painted the entire page peach as a backdrop and all of my children stood around and told me how well i was doing. this is one of the reasons to have children: they are excellent hype-people.

and then we went to chik-fil-a and everyone said chik-fil-a the way kanye west says it in that song where he basically yelps chic-fil-a and we laughed harder than was necessary because we are all starved for real humor around here due to the quarantine. in the chik-fil-a line we greet everyone way too enthusiastically. i say we because i roll all the windows down so we can all shout our orders at once. it's relaxing and fun and social.

(sidenote: this show was shared with me by a friend and it shows great promise but also maybe that's because i was watching blacklist with ryan and someone had just died a gruesome death because she was a drug mule and the plastic pouch she had unrealistically sewn under her skin like a pregnant stomach had burst and she overdosed on 11-million dollars worth of lsd. i almost dragged the kids out of bed to watch so I could be like, 'see? drugs are bad.' but i refrained. wow. i must be an amazing mother. all this to say: give taskmasters a chance if you're looking for a chuckle.)

also on the list of things to do today:

-remind my children to shut the door because it's cold outside another five thousand times (another sidenote: if someone said to my children, 'shut the door on your way out or your mother will die.' i would literally die thirty seconds later because that is literally how quickly they forget this particular request. why is that.)
-dole out another three hundred snacks per child
-miss my friends but do not pick up the phone to facetime them because....i haven't figured out why not yet. i just know that i just don't do it. i'm all, 'where's erin why haven't i seen her in a million years what is she doing right now--i could facetime her...nevermind.' i think it's because literally every time i facetime i catch a glimpse of myself in that tiny corner camera and I have a moment where i'm like, 'THAT'S WHAT I LOOK LIKE??? HOW DO I HAVE FRIENDS?'
-wash the dog. seriously, miriam. wash the dog! she's six pounds. it'll be over in ten minutes. JUST DO IT.