miriam beth

'coming full circle' by jenedy paige

 new curriculum in the the church, same old ideas, i suppose. this week they opened up the for strength of youth booklet in meetinghouses everywhere in the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and the 25-minutes they had together opened with a banger: the priesthood. and my very wonderful nearly-13-year-old daughter came back and reported that men have the priesthood and women have motherhood. she was bugged.

"did they mention that men have fatherhood?" i asked. 

"no. and it irritated me. like all those dumb boys can hold the priesthood and I can have kids." she paused a moment. "i mean, i want to have kids but when they said all that I was like, 'forget it.'" 

we're going to talk it out, internet. and i wrote her a letter. i thought i'd share that letter with you.

my child,

i've been thinking about what you told me about young women today, and i want to talk about it--not because i want to tell you that your leaders were wrong, but because i think you deserve to think deeply about what you heard. 

when someone says, "men have priesthood and women have motherhood," i understand what they're trying to say: that men and women both have important roles and responsibilities in God's plan. but i don't think motherhood is the equivalent of priesthood. 

men can be fathers. they can be husbands. they can nurture children, teach children, care for families, serve other people, and do all kinds of things that aren't priesthood. and woman can be mothers--but women can also be leaders, scientists, writers, teachers, missionaries, artists, doctors, friends, scholars, business owners, ministers, and so many other things. 

and here's something else i want you to know: you are not required to become a mother in order for your life to have equal value to a man's life.

motherhood is beautiful and important. but it isn't the price of admission for being a woman. 

i also don't want to pretend that the history of women and priesthood in our church is simple. there are things about women's relationship to priesthood that faithful Latter-day Saint women have wrestled with for generations. some women are completely comfortable with the way things are. other women--including faithful women who love the church deeply--have wondered why women aren't ordained and have hoped that our understanding of women's roles and authority will continue develop. 

i think it's okay to notice when something doesn't feel fair. and i especially want you to know that you don't have to choose between being faithful and being honest about a question. you can love Jesus, love the gospel, participate in the church, and still say, "i don't understand this yet," or even, "i hope this changes someday". 

i don't know exactly what the future of the church will look like. neither does anyone else,. so i don't want you to give you false certainty about what God will or won't do. but i do have hope. i have hope that God is much bigger than the roles human beings have sometimes created for one another. i have hope that your Heavenly Parents see you as a whole person--not simple as someone's future wife or someone's future mother. i have hope that there is work for you to do in this world that is uniquely yours. 

i hope you never head "women have motherhood" and translate that into "women have less". 

you don't have less. 

you are a daughter of God. you have a mind, a voice, spiritual gifts, moral agency, revelation, a capacity to lead and serve, and a relationship with God that belongs to you. 

you don't have to make yourself smaller to be faithful. and if someday you have questions about women and priesthood, i hope you bring those questions to me, we can sit with them together, we don't have to be afraid of them.